We saw the signs and knew our team’s impending retrenchment but when it actually happened it still felt like a sucker punch. After we got the notice, we still report for work to complete the required two months transition. I still dress up, smile and joke around. Smiling and just being generally happy is my way of coping with the situation.
It’s sad but I’ve already seen so many colleagues leave and I helped arrange numerous farewells. I smile cause it’s ironic I get to arrange the final farewell for myself and the last remaining teammates who are also affected.
I’m scared because of the sudden uncertainty but happy because I need the shock therapy to move on. I don’t know what am going to end up doing but I know it will be different from the humdrum routine this past year. I’ve made new friends here and earned more money but it’s still lonely.
I decided to retreat back home instead of fighting to stay on in foreign soil and some people think it’s a bad decision. Yes, logically going home is a not the ideal choice but in this matter my heart won. For the first time in years, listening to my heart and finally deciding I’m going home made my days seem brighter.